A.P.#4

A.P. = Answered prayer.
Sorry it's been so long since I've updated. Of course, I've had alot to say, but wasn't sure WHAT TO say. I started several posts, and just changed my mind.
5 months ago I had no idea that health issues could be a part of every day life. What started out on Jan. 3rd with my hands hurting, has turned in to quite a few things mostly thyroid related. This post is titled: Answered Prayer #4 because there have been 4 big specific prayers the Lord has answered and I wanted to share them with you. Now, of course, I know the Lord answers many more than that every day, but these are prayers that I've asked You, my friends, to pray for me and I want you to KNOW they are felt and have been answered in a big specific way. I started w/ A.P.#1 the Friday of Spring Break. It was then that I was told I needed a surgeon. There are many things that happened in the months leading up to that, but I choose to start here with my story. I am determined to leave the negative energy behind. That is why I haven't posted. When you are feeling really bad, it just helps to have hope. It helps to know people are working on your behalf. enough said. The first prayer was for the Lord to send the RIGHT people my way and open very specific doors. My in-laws and their friends did some checking (they're in the healthcare system in Shreveport)....and came across a surgeon Dr.Donnie Aultman. After my father-in-law told him of my situation, he made a call to the endocrinologist I was trying to get in to see: Dr. Ravari. I saw Dr.Ravari the week after Spring Break and knew immediately both her and Dr.Aultman were answers to prayers. She is so kind, and KNOWS what she is talking about. I liked everything about her office/staff...just very high quality. Many other signs, but A.P.#1.
A.P. #2: you know the saying "knowledge is power"? Wellllll, MOST of the time. But SOMETIMES it can scare you. I have done enough "research" (LOL) on the internet to know I WANTED to find someone who performed what's called a FINE NEEDLE biopsy. get the fine needle part? Yep, I had heard a few stories and this sounded like the way I wanted to go. The first phone call I had w/ Dr.Ravari's office is when I asked that question and YES: she did them on Tuesday mornings. A.P.#2
A.P.#3: okay so that means I had to have a biopsy. As if it's not just down-right painful enough to think about having cancer, obviously 3+ needles being stuck in my neck where it HURTS, did not sound too good. But PRAISE THE LORD...it's behind me and I can truly say it did not hurt near as bad as I had prepared myself for. The numbing cream worked, I was really relaxed thanks to the people in her office (like I said: quality care), and it just was not that bad. A.P. #3.
A.P. #4: after the biopsy is when it hit me the hardest emotionally. I was thinking she might have been able to tell me something as she was performing the biopsy, but that was not the case so I had to wait and worry from Tues- Fri last week. There is a thing posted in her exam rooms about worry. It says something like: "if you're going to pray, why worry....if you're going to worry, why pray". Ouch. powerful. true. easier said than done. You see, I had done my "research" and knew about a little thing called anaplastic thyroid cancer...the fast growing kind that frankly people just don't survive. Every little ache and pain worried me last week (and I had PLENTY). So, when she called Friday with the news that I needed surgery...that did not sound NEAR as bad. PTL. Basically the biopsy was inconclusive, and since my thyroid has grown so large I need to have it removed. There is an 80% chance it is benign, but there are concerns. There are 3 other types of thyroid cancer but all have positive outcomes in the end. So, I'll have surgery soon...have it removed...they will test to see what it is...and we'll go from there. If it is malignant there are a few things I do before taking medicene the rest of my life and if it's benign I think I just start taking meds the rest of my life. Either way, I already feel like I can breathe better, just being able to think about the "rest of my life". A.P.#4.
I have a new compassion for people who have medical problems...specifically for those awaiting biopsy results. It's just one of those things that you just can't understand until you've been there I think. I know the "compassion" thing is something the Lord is showing me through this. I seriously do not think that I BELIEVED it was possible to feel bad every day for 5 months. I was wrong.
So....THANK YOU MY FRIENDS for praying. I NEED you to continue to pray for specific things for me, and I promise to keep you posted better. I believe in giving God the glory and that is what I want to do. It really is my desire for you to know that you're prayers for me are being heard and answered and it means so much to me. When we were at St.Jude w/ J.T., there were so many times I thought about the "footprints in the sand" story. You see, I believe that sometimes we just need to be carried through things, and part of that is for friends to pray for you when you are tired or just feel like you do not have enough faith. Here are specific prayers I need right now: #5: TIMING for the surgery. I want to have it asap. All of my family is coming in next week, it's a busy time and alot to do before the end of school, Kirk wants to leave the day we get out of school going on vacation w/ his girlfriend...and I'm just struggling knowing when to try to schedule. So, I leave it in the Lord's hands. I'm going to see when the dr CAN schedule and go from there. One thing I've learned is not to worry about things that haven't happened yet. I would just rather have the surgery behind me before the last day of school though...just the whole thought of starting my summer that way does not sound so great. This time last year we were leaving for the beach. so, in HIS perfect TIMING....I trust it will be.
#6: for the surgery itself to be successful. for them to be able to easily remove everything. for there to be NO SIGNS of malignancy and that I do not GET SICK after surgery. For some reason as if the thought of someone cutting your NECK open is not bad enough...I just do NOT want to get sick afterwards. That just could not be good. I "READ" (LOL) somewhere that the surgery is not that bad. Someone even said it was like having teeth pulled. OKAY. I can believe THAT story!
#7 and finally that my recovery is fast and goes well. I really believe in the power of positive thinking. If I can just get to the point where I practice that at home I will be doing good. I'm thinking about getting a little IPOD and loading praise and worship music to listen to before/after surgery. I took this special blanket to the biopsy with me and it was very comforting. Nevermind the fact that Todd said I looked like a 9 yr old. It was really funny though. And true, but I didn't care. It worked.

NOW FOR A LITTLE bit of more interesting, creative news. I have still managed to paint. I read a quote the other day: What one CAN be, one MUST be. I MUST PAINT.
I have: finished jennifer's blog prize (really big cross painting) / finished a painting for my nephew who is graduating HS next week and is going to train to be a fireman (really big abstract fireman painting)/ baby paintings for "someone" I know having a baby soon (can't mention names yet)/ notecards/ and one of my all-time FAVORITE things...making a ton of hand-painted bookmarks. They are so cute, fun and I can paint them almost without looking. LOVE those things. And a friend and i made it to Hobby Lobby this weekend, where I found fabulous new ribbon. yes, I need a new list of things that make me happy....a new list of things that I consider FUN. Finding ribbon at HL is just a LITTLE too boring. Think I'll work on that list this summer.
Stay tuned about art camp for the summer. To be honest, right now there's no way I can even think about it. Literally. Just too tired. But, I haven't forgotten. There's still a chance even if on a smaller scale. We'll see.
Thanks for reading so long. Sorry there' s no pictures this time.
Thank you again, my friends and please keep me in your prayers. I am not myself when I feel bad.
Create. okay did you notice on one of my recent posts I told YOU to create even when YOU don't feel like it....yep, eating those words. So, just create when you can. create when you DO feel like it, and I'll do the same.
Suzy